My friend Kors cracks me up! I've known him for years and last night he made me laugh outloud. I laugh a lot, but not the big belly kind of laugh very often. Those laughs are reserved for only the truly rediculous.
Here's how it started. At the end of his post he said...
Someone just called me about a tractor for sale. Dialed a 9 instead of a 1. I WISH I had a tractor
To this i commented...
what happened to your tractor? i LOVED riding that tractor...i can't believe it's gone. *single tear running down my cheek. sniff sniff*
So yesterday I check his blog again and find this...
Thursday, October 06, 2005
The truth bout my ol tractor
Ol' Betsy packed er in a few years back while I was cropping the south fields in 03. At the time I was buildin an all in one veg'table. I called it Meat Wheat. I would have made a hella good bunch a dough but I'll be damned if ol' Betsy didn't git stuck real bad n..........she.....she done snapped er axle clear in half. I started to panic some but I didn't want to git Betsy all riled up.
"HELP US" I yelled. "WE'S IS OKAY BUT BETSY'S DUN STUCK"!!!
The ol’ girl musta bin in shock cuz she didn't even feel no pain. She was cold and wet and drippin axle grease all over the dang place. I couldn't stop it so I's know'd I had to do somethin all on my lonesome n it had to be FAST. I run back to the barn n grabbed the flat bed. It was a 4 wheeler drive so I tied a rope made from bailer twine round the trailer hitch on the truck and wrapped it round Betsy’s bumper and pulled Besty right on up outta that dang mud hole. I winched her up on the flat deck and tied her down super good. We drove like a bat outta hell the whole way over to the John Deere dealership in town there over by the Tasty Freeze. They's wasn't gonna help her at first cuz she's a Massey Ferguson see but I got some angry an raised my voice with them. "WE AIN'T GOT TIME DELMONT" WE JUST AIN"T GOT TIME"!!! "Wade know's these ol Massey's I knows it". "He had that ol’ red one that Otis's ol man give to him some years back. Wade n the other mechanix tried everything they could to help er but she was plum too old. They couldn't git parts for her they said.
"HOG WASH" I cried. “Delmont, that's just plain horse shit man”. Come on, you can help her can’t ya? Please say ya can! Delmont grabbed me by the shoulders, which I really didn't like cuz I git uncomfortable if other fella's touch me in any kinds a ways aside from hand shakein’ and high fives n stuff, and he said..."She's done man". "Do what's right n LET ER GO".
I had no choice but to suck it up n take her over to Otis's place n sell her as a spare fer parts n such. Every now an again I’ll see one of her tires or bits of her neet ol combine harvester on Otis’s Massey an I feel all warm inside cuz I know’s she’d be gladthat she went on to help a younger Massey be gooder.
My dreams of Meat Wheat were gone and so was Betsy. But I still remember her an all them good time we had together.
R.I.P Betsy you ol bitch you.
Otis is Plum crazy
Like I said, he cracks me up. The stories we have are mostly retarded, but very funny to us. And I charish them dearly.
His sister Lors is my best friend in the whole wide world and I will tell you all about her one day soon. Well, maybe not ALL about her...
We went to highschool together, so we've know each other for more years than I care to say. She rocks.