Sunday, December 21, 2008
Thursday, December 11, 2008
I don't know what's going on with this post, but I don't have time to fiddle with the layout. So here's this post in a nutshell.
1-My hair is pink at the front. Not red. Why do people think it's red? I dunno. I'm bored of it anyway and out of pink dye, so I guess I'll use the purple dye that I have and go back to grey. I mean brown. My mum will be very pleased.
2-I love candy. But candy you can spell stuff with? Seriously awesome. A couple years ago I sent LB Seahag and her cats their names spelled out in candy in a gift box. In return, she sent me really cool stuff that made my gift box seem completely lame. I miss Mel. Her blog was a true inspiration. She put the fun in funny. To see what she got me click here. (Man was my kid a chubbo. Holy crap.)
3-Yesterday I wore a pair of socks that apparently misunderstand their purpose. The purpose of socks, I have been led to believe, is to actually STAY on your whole foot not slip down your heel and bunch up by your toes like the toes are the most important part of the foot. So now my toes are all full of themselves and not working as a unit... as part of a team, and I'm even inclined to say down right belligerent. This morning, one little piggy was all "Hey, where's the yoga toes you promised us?" So I was all "Hey little piggy, check yourself. I didn't promise you jack. In fact, you better watch your attitude. I'm pretty sure I can make it through life with less toes than I have." I thought tough love was the answer. Be firm, you know? Make sure they understand they aren't the boss of the foot. That all parts of the foot are important. Well, let me tell you, no one was more shocked than me when my toes actually flipped me the bird and pitter-pattered to the market without me. SO right now, I'm waiting for them to get back and I am full on stubbing them. Cocky little bastards.
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
The things I'll do to annoy my mother... haha....
How cool is this yin yang VW sculpture?
This was a funny commercial
I don't know how long its been around for, but it made me smile. Unlike most women, I'd actually prefer the vacuum to the necklace.
But the guy who gave the exercise equipment was awesome!
Have a good day my lovelies
"And then one day you find ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun"
Friday, November 28, 2008
me-"Hello?" (original hey?)
person-"Don't you answer your emails?"
me-"Oh, um... yes? But I'm not up yet. Why?"
person-"Well are we still on for coffee?"
me-"Of course. What time were you thinking?"
me-"OK, right on, see you soon."
As I start to shake off the urge to fall back asleep, it dawns on me what just happened. Who on earth was that? Must be my friend Dave McKinnon who's on the Island for a few days. He had stopped by last night to say hello, maybe we made plans that I forgot about? So I call Dave. Nope, not him. And as intrigued by the thought of coffee with me, he is indeed working and very busy.
Check my email, nope. Nothing from anyone about coffee at 10. (Now I'm bummed because why doesn't anyone want to make a coffee plan with me for real?)
So, my next thought was OH! It must be my friend Leah's boyfriend Bobby who is doing his practicum at a school down the street from me. And as luck would have it, just as I'm looking into my coffee colander and realize that I don't have enough coffee to make a whole pot, Bobby pulls up in my driveway. Another confusing conversation... but it was just coincidence. It wasn't him that called.
So, then it dawns on me. Call the person back. Duh. So I do. The voice mail said it was some apartment building downtown. So now I'm freaking out. I definitely don't have enough coffee for a whole apartment building. Parking shouldn't be a problem, I'd even venture out to say it's ample. But they all better take it black, and only want a sip or two.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
So here is an email I wrote them (Them being Photojojo! ).
cher sherwood wrote:
OK, you guys crack me up.
I mean really crack me up.
I think I am falling in love with your newsletter. I keep thinking about it and checking my email for a new one... hoping... will it have emailed me? I feel like a school girl. So, I've been thinking about possibly asking it out on a date. Do you think it would say yes? Where would we go? What would we do? When is it too soon to introduce it to my friends and family? I thought about putting a link to it on my blog but I'm kinda nervous because what if that's like hooking it up with a speed dating deal and someone else scoops it up right out from my clutches? Or what if it just says no?
I guess I should back up a little and just find out if your newsletter is single.
I hope this brought a chuckle to your day there at the office like you do here to me at home :) Keep up the great work guys
Our newsletter is blushing and shuffling its feet and looking at the ground a lot, 'cause it likes you too. We asked. Well, actually, we got our friend to ask 'cause we were too shy, so she passed it a note, and it likes you. So, you know, there's a dance in the auditorium on Friday, so maybe it'll see you there. And stuff. You know, if you don't already have a date. Or whatever.
p.s. your email totally made my day!
So here's the link to this super awesome newsletter that is filled with tons of photo ideas. I recommend dropping them a line and letting them know you enjoy it. But whatever you do, don't cramp my style alright? If you could appear ugly even or fat in your email, it would increase my chances of a real date.
Monday, September 01, 2008
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Friday, August 08, 2008
So what's new with me you may be wondering. Well, since my last post, Rob and I celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary. I turned
and had a wonderful birthday weekend.
OK, so on with the show.
if you are new to my blog you should know there is nothing important going on here ever.
i don't do the hot sauce thing. i really prefer my food plain, but if i was a hot sauce user, i'd be afraid of these products i think. however, on an advertising level, they are amusing.
i didn't buy this childrens' book, but i did enjoy looking at the pictures. pretty heavy for a kid, but if walt disney can take it upon himself to teach our children about death and loss, so can anyone.
is that blood squirting out of that dolls neck?
that is AWESOME!
I am sick and tired of my life. it is retarded. my house is retarded. the stuff in it is retarded. i have no connection to it and i'm going to sell it all and try a different approach on life. before i know it, 35 more years will have passed and i'll be sitting around still grumbling about how sick i am of this consumeristic society we have created and how i don't want any part of it...still.
so what now?
SIMPLIFY. (that is the sign on the back of our campervan) If i don't start honouring my spirit and living the kind of simple life i want i will surely drive myself insane. I want something else out of life than bigger and better and more...feeling like my possessions own me instead of the other way around.
So, I'm done.
But I'm also motivated.
No one is going to show up at my doorstep and say, "hey Cher, I thought it was time I started going through all your crap and simplify your life for you." its not going to happen.
so my plan...
start looking at where we realistically want to live
go through every corner of this house and put stuff in keep/give away/sell/throw out piles.
sell our house and all our crap
buy some property
travel around in a van when we feel like it
be happy and in touch with the people i charish and feel a strong connection to.
gonzo is still alive and kicking if anyone wonders
so i guess i'll wrap things up for now. thanks everyone for your emails and comments letting me know you think about me and miss me. it is nice to be missed.
oh, i almost forgot the weirdest update about me of all.
like a month ago i went to bed and everything was normal. when i woke up, i was completely confused as to how i woke up having
Dr. Seus's feet.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
So tomorrow is our fake scheduled c-section for Mr.Shife's and my fake, bastard, virtual love child that doesn't exist... If you have no idea what I'm talking about, shame on you. Keep up. Things move fast around here people... click here and it should catch you up to speed. I'm really excited, and kinda nervous. What kind of fake mother will I be? Will Mr.Shife step up to the virtual plate? Will he continue to deny this fake baby it's fictional birthright? But more importantly, the main question that isn't keeping me up at night is will it even be human?
Over the last 40 weeks, as this pretend fetus hasn't grown in my womb, I've seen several different possibilities of what sort of fake child we could not be bringing into this virtual world. The great part for you, my lovelies, is that I've managed to capture some of this fake baby's fake development on film (ok, Inner Voices, settle down. These are digital). So, here are a few photos I've managed to take in between fake morning sickness and virtual bastard baby brain. I know you all will be with us in the fake delivery room giving us your fake support while nothing really happens.
You probably remember the first two shots.
A baby giraffe? Could we be so lucky Mr.Shife?
I wasn't surprised to see our fake baby morph itself into a mouse.
I was surprised, mind you, to see that this fake baby has already been to Mardi Gras.
40 weeks later... yet, it feels like only moments ago that I could still see my feet.
If I didn't get a picture of it, I'd have a hard time believing that there is a chance that this fake baby may be a 2litre.
Now this was scary. Mr.Shife probably doesn't remember how worried I was that our fake, bastard, love child was actually trying to abort itself.
I didn't need a real Dr to tell me that delivering scissors breach, even fake ones, would have me screaming for drugs.
Mr.Shife is non-responsive (He's so consistent. I fake love it. I always never know where he stands on anything) on his opinion on fake natural childbirth, but I'll tell you this; if this fake spawn ends up being a pineapple in real life, I'm totally taking the drugs. And after, I'll eat it if the munchies set in.
Considering this made up offspring is half Canadian AND I am the female equivalent to MacGyver I'm thinking a roll of duct tape is highly likely and completely practical.
I'm nervous at the possibility of delivering this wine glass. It's huge. And, well, it's GLASS.
The unreal thought of giving birth to a crack baby is just wrong. Even I can't believe I went there. I'm sure Mr.Shife has less than nothing to say about this possibility. Sometimes saying less is more, you know? I think the saying goes "Silence makes the heart grow fonder" or something like that.
Oh, and on a side note, I think I need to rethink my belt. It looks like its seen better days. And, I suppose it has, considering I got it in grade 10. They don't call me Dr.MakeDo for nothing!
Have a great weekend my lovelies!