The Spring fresh scent of 'Summer's Eve'... may increase risk of a yeast infection

I'VE BEEN REALLY BUSY...

TODAY I TRIED TO DELIVER BALLOONS TO THE PREMIER OF BC, GORDON CAMPBELL, TO THANK HIM FOR STEALING THE FUTURES FROM CHILDREN WITH AUTISM(AND SPECIAL NEEDS IN GENERAL) BY CANCELLING EARLY INTERVENTION PROGRAMS. SURPRISE....SURPRISE.... NOT ONE PERSON IN HIS WHOLE OFFICE WAS AVAILABLE TO ACCEPT THE DELIVERY ON HIS BEHALF. HMMM, I GUESS PLANNING WAYS TO BE THE BIGGEST, MOST HEARTLESS, MONEY-GRABBING DOUCHE-BAG IN BC TAKES A LOT OF PEOPLE AND A LOT OF TIME.

SAVING THE WORLD IS EXHAUSTING. SO I'M GOING TO TRY THIS APPROACH INSTEAD.

-->click me<--

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I don't know if you have had the chance to check out this documentary or not, but I suggest you click on it and bookmark the link for when you have 40+ minutes to spare. It's a real eye opener and I think it should be mandatory watching for everyone in the world.... unless of course you are a money-grabbing douche-bag. In this case you should have to watch it twice. Daily.

WHERE THERE IS HELP, THERE IS HOPE!!! EIBI program cuts - not funding increases!

Wanna hear me rant??

Of course you do!
Click here listen specifically from 7:24-18:03 where I manage to stretch out 4 minutes into over 11 :)

then listen specifically from 22:28-24:45 for more

NEXT, click THIS LINK and listen specifically from 56:40-57:55 where you will hear Sean follow up a few things that I didn't get a chance to say on the air.
I have to re-listen, but i think i remember calling the hon. minister mary polak nothing special and a "neuro-typical politician"..... what a mouth piece i can be.

don't forget to check out and join the facebook group Reverse the EIBI/EAIP funding cuts! (BC Autism Funding Cuts)














This is the email that landed me that interview:

As you are aware, the EIBI (Early Autism Intensive Behaviour Intervention) programs have been cut in BC. As of Jan 31, 2010, children under 6 with Autism will no longer have the life-giving essential programs they desperately need to have a chance at a future that is not financially dependant on the govt. These programs prepare and teach children on the spectrum the life skills to successfully enter into our already stretched thin school systems and build the foundations that are needed to be a productive, valuable member of society.

This cause is very real to me. I am a mother of two children currently in this program. My older son was only 19 months old when he entered the EIBI program at the Queen Alexandra Center for Children's Health. He will be 5 in December and is a walking, talking billboard for how effective this program is. He entered a public school Kindergarten this year WITHOUT the aid of a one on on worker. Because of this therapy, he will personally save the govt approximately 2.5 million dollars in financial support throughout his schooling years. Not to mention the undetermined amount of how much financial support would be needed later in his life.

Autistic children grow up to be Autistic adults.

If we invest a minimum of 20 hours per week of this scientifically proven intensive therapy in these children before they are 6, the returns are mind blowing. As a mother, I am outraged at these cuts. As a citizen of BC, I am embarrassed for such heartless cutback decisions. I am not fighting these cuts for my children. When people meet my children today, they do not believe me that they have Autism. This is a direct result of this program. I am fighting these program cuts for every child under 6 who has a diagnosis of Autism and has the right to the same quality of life as a neuro-typical child. I am fighting for those on the wait lists. I am fighting for those children not yet diagnosed.

This is a gross injustice and I shutter when I think of all the lost potential. Will you take a stand with me and everyone else determined to reverse these program cuts? Can I count on you for support?

There is a rally taking place on Wednesday,Oct 7th from 12:30-2:15 pm
We will start at Bastion Square at 12:30 and end at the Legislative Building.
If there is anyway you could possibly pass the information for this rally on, it would be greatly appreciated.
If there is anyway we can count on you for support, please email bcautism@gmail.com and let us know how you will help, or ask us to direct you in a way that we need help.

Please pass along THIS LINK ( http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=134222624507 ) of the facebook group that is packed with information and supporters dedicated to having these program cuts reversed to anyone and everyone you know.

I am attaching a pdf file with the information for the rally. I am also attaching a petition that can be printed off and signed. If anyone takes the time to do this, please contact bcautism@gmail.com and we can arrange to collect them.

Thank you so much for taking a moment to read this email about possibly supporting one of the most important causes facing BC right now. Thank you from me personally, and thank you on behalf of children under 6 in BC with Autism, who deserve a chance at a quality of life equal to every child in BC.

Sincerely,
Cher Sherwood
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Well my Lovelies, I am bagged. I have been fighting a virus for weeks and I swear, if it doesn't pack up and leave my body soon, I am going to start charging it rent. Sleep would be nice, but I'm trying to be realistic and aim low for something along the lines of just good old fashioned silence.

If you are new to my blog, please leave a comment and let me know you stopped by, and if you are one of my loyal fans, please let me know how I can possibly make stalking me easier :P
oxo

RALLY CALL!!

RALLY CALL!

Come out and show your support to

REVERSE THE EIBI FUNDING CUTS!

When? 12:30pm, Wed. Oct. 7^th

Where? Bastion Square with a march to the Legislative Building. (Victoria B.C.)

Why? To fight the funding cuts to essential Autism programs by the MCFD.

For more information please contact bcautism@gmail.com

Early Autism Intensive Behaviour Intervention Programs shut down

If you live in BC....

Go Here

Then HERE

Join the group

Then DO SOMETHING!!

There a lot of people working on reversing these funding cuts. It's been an interesting few weeks to say the least. I never thought I'd be involved in press events or interviews with reporters, or speaking to MLA's.... that's a given... but it's all been worth it to look the Hon. Minister Mary Polak right in the eye and call her a liar. I'm pretty sure I won't be on her call back list.

Oprah sinks to all time low in my book...

um Oprah? Are you serious?

FORESKIN?? What is WRONG with people??

Um, ya, did you get that memo?

You may have found it easier to get to my blog today. I did indeed take the invite only off in the hopes that certain douches have moved on and will no longer effect my PH levels. My next plan of action will be death threats. After that, I will take DG up on her offer of "taking care" of it for me.

So, now that things are feeling a little back to normal, lets get on with the madness shall we?

Here is something that people who work in an office where co-workers use their mug simply must get. It's a got to have item and a fail safe way to be sure you never get hepatitis.















It will, however, pretty much guarantee you to have unexplained penis breath from the inevitable rim jobs.
(I love how in the ad it says "This cup has a whole in it which prevents MOST people from using it.)

YAAAWN... stretch....scratch

I think you pretty much get the picture.
Why have I had such a hard time blogging?
I think it's because in real life I suck.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

If you happen to find yourself with no one to spend Valentine's Day with, I have the perfect suggestion for you.
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Oh, you'd like to hear it?

Well of course you do my lovely.
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Hey! I heard that. What? You think I stopped reading minds? (And that's ridiculous, by the way. I would never suggest something like that.)
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Ok. Here's a clue <= click there
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Awe come on. That was funny.
It's always funny.
Seriously love that.
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So, I was saying, if you find yourself with no one to spend Valentine's Day with, maybe you should give Rick Astley a call. I'm betting he's single. And probably on Lava Life.


No, being single isn't the only thing that makes him Valentine-able.
I can see you're not convinced.
Let me explain it to you through this esthetically pleasing pie chart.
I'm sure once you read it, you too will see the overwhelming evidence that he is in fact saturated in Valentine-able-awesomeness.
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Happy Valentine's Day!

THREE SEA SHELLS

SON OF A BIC!!*Not my hand...mine is manlier*



I had to take a second look when I first saw this sign. Why? you may ask?

Because it was sitting on this gigantic, yet well priced mudbutt wipe.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who was relieved that the human race is actually not THIS far gone.

Get real. Be honest to yourself and everyone in your life. If you can't be honest, then you need to question WHY?

I'm frustrated.
Have you ever set clear boundaries only to have those boundaries ignored?
This morning I was pretty sure I was going to delete my blog. The one thought that seemed really sad to me is the history I'd be deleting. My history. The history of friendships that I really enjoy. So I won't. Plus, there are some funny posts that I am actually really proud of. At the risk of sounding cryptic, I am going to be putting a password on my blog or make it invite only. If you don't understand why, then don't worry, chances are you aren't the reason. You may be wondering why I'm announcing this, instead of just doing it. Its partly because I want to give you, my lovelies the heads up, but more importantly, I am sending a message. A message I hope to be taken seriously. If I was to do this privately in an email, I'd be breaking my own personal boundaries I have set for myself.
I have been going through a lot lately. Working through a lot of clutter. It's a daunting, exhausting task setting out to clean your "house". At times I've thought about using my blog as a form of working through some of this clutter. But the shadow of disrespected boundaries lingers and I don't feel comfortable to do so.
SO... Guess what? I'm taking control. I've been doing that in my life, why not my creative outlet? It is, after all, MY blog. And I'm allowing myself to be picky about who is reading the dribble that gets dripped from my mind and smeared on these virtual pages. Most of it is just nonsense. Stuff that amused me that I've come across, thought or seen. But the fact that I don't feel free to share something personal isn't sitting well with me.
I've been focusing on truth. Truth with myself, about myself, about love, relationships and friendships. Speaking the truth is difficult if you are faced with fear of hurting people. I really don't want to cause anyone pain. I want to get back to the point of my blog. My outlet. I don't want to not comment back to people out of fear of encouraging others who are not respecting my wishes and boundaries. It's not fair.
This sign below may seem so mean. Lighten up. I didn't make it. I just thought it was funny.
So, my lovelies, next time you click on my blog and aren't allowed, PLEASE make the effort to be personally invited. I will still be blogging. Not as much as I have at times, a 3 and a 4 year old who suck the life out of me will do that. But deleting it isn't the answer because it makes me sad. I'm tired of struggling with this issue. I'm done.

Now off you go... go on. Do something productive. Think with integrity. Have a fantastic day. And don't forget to trip someone.

Some stuff I've seen

Hello there my lovelies. I hope you are all well and ready to look at some stuff I've seen.
On with the show, before I walk away from this post and chalk it up to one more thing I never finish...
I'm not sure if it would work as well as the classic voodoo doll, but I bet it has it's own therapeutic properties.
I've seen some weird license plates in my life, but this was one of the weirdest!
NOBODY is as Antonio Banderas as Antonio Banderas... (said in the best Antonio Banderas voice imaginable... Believe it or not, I get to say that sentence at least 8 or 9 times a year)
An ad in the yellow pages that was clever
This guy renewed my love for hating complete strangers.
I guess cows are real spa whores. Something I never knew.
What was wrong with white??
hahaha
Don't get any ideas Quincy.
I think this is an excellent example of how awesome Canadians are. ROAR!! ;)
If I were a boy, I would shove that 5 million dollar ring down her throat...
They lost their day planner on the 24th AND the 25th?? I dare someone to prank call them...
So, there you have it... Some stuff I've seen. Was it worth spending 2 minutes here wasting your precious time reading? Probably not. But it was sure worth procrastinating housework for me to post it! :)

the ultimate morning CD

I hope you all had a wonderful holiday my Lovelies and thanks for stopping by!
I got a CD player/radio for the shower. Now all I need is some song suggestions that would make a great compilation disc to wake up to.
Let's hear your suggestions of what song you would pick to go on this ultimate morning CD

So the other day, I'm opening a piece of mail from DG and I'm taken immediately back to elementary school days because there is a scratch and sniff sticker on the back flap! Completely awesome right? Man I loved scratch and sniff stickers... Anyway, I pull the assumed Christmas card out of its envelope and was blown away. It wasn't a Christmas card at all. It was a "just because you're completely awesome" kind of card!! What a moment that is when you realize someone has gone out of their way and made an extra effort to let you know that they enjoy your friendship.

DG, thank you. I know I have sort of milked your prize of random text messages from me from a contest I had ages ago, but I know you don't mind and have come to love them. Even when they are in the middle of the night, not once have you ever complained about either timing or content.

I thought I would take a moment to show you all the card because it is just so appropriate...

Thank you to Mr. and Mrs. Duck for the Christmas card too! Your kids are too cute for words and the Christmas letter is always such a great way to find out how people spent their year. Even if it makes you painfully aware how little you travel and in fact downright boring your life is... ;)

I want to wish you all, my lovelies, a safe and happy holiday. Be good and don't forget to stop in and say hi.

PS. Quincy, I know you are reading this, so I just wanted to remind you that you still owe me $50 from the bet you lost and that your poker face could use a little work.

A mediocre attempt at trying to get back into blogging

I don't know what's going on with this post, but I don't have time to fiddle with the layout. So here's this post in a nutshell.
1-My hair is pink at the front. Not red. Why do people think it's red? I dunno. I'm bored of it anyway and out of pink dye, so I guess I'll use the purple dye that I have and go back to grey. I mean brown. My mum will be very pleased.
2-I love candy. But candy you can spell stuff with? Seriously awesome. A couple years ago I sent LB Seahag and her cats their names spelled out in candy in a gift box. In return, she sent me really cool stuff that made my gift box seem completely lame. I miss Mel. Her blog was a true inspiration. She put the fun in funny. To see what she got me click here. (Man was my kid a chubbo. Holy crap.)
3-Yesterday I wore a pair of socks that apparently misunderstand their purpose. The purpose of socks, I have been led to believe, is to actually STAY on your whole foot not slip down your heel and bunch up by your toes like the toes are the most important part of the foot. So now my toes are all full of themselves and not working as a unit... as part of a team, and I'm even inclined to say down right belligerent. This morning, one little piggy was all "Hey, where's the yoga toes you promised us?" So I was all "Hey little piggy, check yourself. I didn't promise you jack. In fact, you better watch your attitude. I'm pretty sure I can make it through life with less toes than I have." I thought tough love was the answer. Be firm, you know? Make sure they understand they aren't the boss of the foot. That all parts of the foot are important. Well, let me tell you, no one was more shocked than me when my toes actually flipped me the bird and pitter-pattered to the market without me. SO right now, I'm waiting for them to get back and I am full on stubbing them. Cocky little bastards.

I'm so punk.

The things I'll do to annoy my mother... haha....
How cool is this yin yang VW sculpture?

This was a funny commercial
I don't know how long its been around for, but it made me smile. Unlike most women, I'd actually prefer the vacuum to the necklace.
But the guy who gave the exercise equipment was awesome!
Have a good day my lovelies


"And then one day you find ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun"

wrong number

My phone rang this morning and I answered it, however, the call woke me up so I was groggy to say the least. The call went a little something like this...
me-"Hello?" (original hey?)
person-"Don't you answer your emails?"
me-"Oh, um... yes? But I'm not up yet. Why?"
person-"Well are we still on for coffee?"
me-"Of course. What time were you thinking?"
person-"About 10."
me-"OK, right on, see you soon."

As I start to shake off the urge to fall back asleep, it dawns on me what just happened. Who on earth was that? Must be my friend Dave McKinnon who's on the Island for a few days. He had stopped by last night to say hello, maybe we made plans that I forgot about? So I call Dave. Nope, not him. And as intrigued by the thought of coffee with me, he is indeed working and very busy.
Check my email, nope. Nothing from anyone about coffee at 10. (Now I'm bummed because why doesn't anyone want to make a coffee plan with me for real?)
So, my next thought was OH! It must be my friend Leah's boyfriend Bobby who is doing his practicum at a school down the street from me. And as luck would have it, just as I'm looking into my coffee colander and realize that I don't have enough coffee to make a whole pot, Bobby pulls up in my driveway. Another confusing conversation... but it was just coincidence. It wasn't him that called.
So, then it dawns on me. Call the person back. Duh. So I do. The voice mail said it was some apartment building downtown. So now I'm freaking out. I definitely don't have enough coffee for a whole apartment building. Parking shouldn't be a problem, I'd even venture out to say it's ample. But they all better take it black, and only want a sip or two.

thanks to Bobby L. for the laptop.... I'm back!!

First and foremost, I'm alive and very well.

My computer bit the dust for good, but a laptop was given to me, so walla.... I'm back!!

Secondly, and I really hope this is the only time I have to say anything, but the little pissing contests that are going on here are one step away from being stopped for good. Seriously. I'm really irritated. Just go away. No one puts Mr.Shife in a corner. Oh no, wait, that's Baby, but still, PLEASE just go away. It's pissing me off and so effing stupid. So just stop. Like right now. That includes visiting or commenting here and emailing me. Even FW'd emails. I'm done. I actually thought I made that clear awhile ago. But I guess not.

ANYHOOZLE...On to cool things I've seen that I felt compelled to take a photo of.

Up first? That's right folks... Yoga toes. I'm not sure what to say about them. Part of me wants to try them, part of me wants to find the think tank behind the idea and crack their skulls together. But if I tried them, I'd want to try them in public. Like at a mall or something. Malls really piss my feet off, so I wonder if they'd be less inclinded to trip people if I wore them there.

Seriously. Who would bother?

It's coming up to that time of year where there are serious blood shortages. Go make someones life and donate a pint. Besides, it's the free way to find out your blood type, which I have been a bit obssessed over lately, but that will be for another post.

You may have been one of the fortunate few who have already seen this bumper sticker because I text messeaged it out when I originally saw it, but if you didn't, it's worth the chuckle, so I'm posting it anyway.

So, with the passing of my computer, I also lost blog addresses i had in a favorites folder. If you would like me to once again grace the pages of your blog, leave a comment so I can get to you.

At the request of my fake baby's daddy, TA DA!! A shiny new post...

ha. sea monkeys. I had those. Remember them? From the back of comics back in 'the day'? I was cleaning out their jar one day, and my dad pulled the plug out on the sink and I was absolutely devistated. He told me they would be happier in our septic than in a jar, and I believed him and grieved less than I would have. What an important role dad's play. Especially in the lives of their sad daughter mourning the loss of brine shrimp that she was convinced did indeed dance to music when she played it for them.

He also told me when he dies he wanted to be burried on a golf course with his head above ground so he could still watch golf. As a 7 year old, I pictured visiting my dad on a golf course, not really dead, but very much alive and talking to his head above ground. Wow. Haven't thought about that in YEARS.

Photojojo Newsletters make my mornings.

If you don't already subscribe to this newsletter, I suggest you do before I kill you. Oops! Did I say Kill you? No, no... not kill you, more like just be reconfirmed in the knowledge that you are all a bunch of retards.

So here is an email I wrote them (Them being Photojojo! ).


cher sherwood wrote:
OK, you guys crack me up.
I mean really crack me up.
I think I am falling in love with your newsletter. I keep thinking about it and checking my email for a new one... hoping... will it have emailed me? I feel like a school girl. So, I've been thinking about possibly asking it out on a date. Do you think it would say yes? Where would we go? What would we do? When is it too soon to introduce it to my friends and family? I thought about putting a link to it on my blog but I'm kinda nervous because what if that's like hooking it up with a speed dating deal and someone else scoops it up right out from my clutches? Or what if it just says no?
I guess I should back up a little and just find out if your newsletter is single.


I hope this brought a chuckle to your day there at the office like you do here to me at home :) Keep up the great work guys
Cher

Their response....

Our newsletter is blushing and shuffling its feet and looking at the ground a lot, 'cause it likes you too. We asked. Well, actually, we got our friend to ask 'cause we were too shy, so she passed it a note, and it likes you. So, you know, there's a dance in the auditorium on Friday, so maybe it'll see you there. And stuff. You know, if you don't already have a date. Or whatever.
Kelly
p.s. your email totally made my day!

So here's the link to this super awesome newsletter that is filled with tons of photo ideas. I recommend dropping them a line and letting them know you enjoy it. But whatever you do, don't cramp my style alright? If you could appear ugly even or fat in your email, it would increase my chances of a real date.

WAHOO!

I DID IT!!! I REALLY DID IT!!!

And man...what a RUSH!

I surprised myself at my lack of panic and my clear-headedness as I talked myself into climbing out of the plane and actually letting my hands go. The 5 second free fall while my shoot released was intense to say the least! For those few seconds, I felt panic start to rise, but when the shoot released, it was over and down I floated!

It was absolutely incredible. I can't wait to go again!

crazy meets boredom and insanity kicks in.

Friday, I will take a sky diving course.

Saturday, I am jumping out of a plane.

If you don't see a post here for awhile, it's probably because I'm dead.

simplify

Well hello there my lovelies. I hope you are all well. I wanted to start out with a personal message to my fake babies daddy. Matt, my thoughts are often filled with wanting to take your hurt away. I know i can't do that. Just remember that your mother's spirit is always here. She is just a thought away. I can only imagine how proud she is of the man you are.


So what's new with me you may be wondering. Well, since my last post, Rob and I celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary. I turned


and had a wonderful birthday weekend.

OK, so on with the show.
if you are new to my blog you should know there is nothing important going on here ever.

like this.
i don't do the hot sauce thing. i really prefer my food plain, but if i was a hot sauce user, i'd be afraid of these products i think. however, on an advertising level, they are amusing.

big nut hey?

i didn't buy this childrens' book, but i did enjoy looking at the pictures. pretty heavy for a kid, but if walt disney can take it upon himself to teach our children about death and loss, so can anyone.
is that blood squirting out of that dolls neck?

that is AWESOME!



I am sick and tired of my life. it is retarded. my house is retarded. the stuff in it is retarded. i have no connection to it and i'm going to sell it all and try a different approach on life. before i know it, 35 more years will have passed and i'll be sitting around still grumbling about how sick i am of this consumeristic society we have created and how i don't want any part of it...still.

so what now?
SIMPLIFY. (that is the sign on the back of our campervan) If i don't start honouring my spirit and living the kind of simple life i want i will surely drive myself insane. I want something else out of life than bigger and better and more...feeling like my possessions own me instead of the other way around.


So, I'm done.
But I'm also motivated.
No one is going to show up at my doorstep and say, "hey Cher, I thought it was time I started going through all your crap and simplify your life for you." its not going to happen.
so my plan...
start looking at where we realistically want to live
go through every corner of this house and put stuff in keep/give away/sell/throw out piles.
sell our house and all our crap
buy some property
travel around in a van when we feel like it
live simply
love much
be happy and in touch with the people i charish and feel a strong connection to.

gonzo is still alive and kicking if anyone wonders

so i guess i'll wrap things up for now. thanks everyone for your emails and comments letting me know you think about me and miss me. it is nice to be missed.

oh, i almost forgot the weirdest update about me of all.

like a month ago i went to bed and everything was normal. when i woke up, i was completely confused as to how i woke up having

.

.

.

Dr. Seus's feet.

weird hey?

40 weeks of fake pregnancy glow is coming to its unend.

Yesterday I went to Costco. When I left, I went to my car, opened the passenger side door and got in with my yogurt and hotdogs on my lap... and then honestly sat there for a good, solid, 4 seconds before it dawned on me that I was alone and driving.









So tomorrow is our fake scheduled c-section for Mr.Shife's and my fake, bastard, virtual love child that doesn't exist... If you have no idea what I'm talking about, shame on you. Keep up. Things move fast around here people... click here and it should catch you up to speed. I'm really excited, and kinda nervous. What kind of fake mother will I be? Will Mr.Shife step up to the virtual plate? Will he continue to deny this fake baby it's fictional birthright? But more importantly, the main question that isn't keeping me up at night is will it even be human?
Over the last 40 weeks, as this pretend fetus hasn't grown in my womb, I've seen several different possibilities of what sort of fake child we could not be bringing into this virtual world. The great part for you, my lovelies, is that I've managed to capture some of this fake baby's fake development on film (ok, Inner Voices, settle down. These are digital). So, here are a few photos I've managed to take in between fake morning sickness and virtual bastard baby brain. I know you all will be with us in the fake delivery room giving us your fake support while nothing really happens.
You probably remember the first two shots.












A baby giraffe? Could we be so lucky Mr.Shife?







I wasn't surprised to see our fake baby morph itself into a mouse.


I was surprised, mind you, to see that this fake baby has already been to Mardi Gras.

The weight of this fictional fetus hasn't taken a tole on my back at all, which is weird. My back hurt a lot in the last trimester with Everett.

40 weeks later... yet, it feels like only moments ago that I could still see my feet.
If I didn't get a picture of it, I'd have a hard time believing that there is a chance that this fake baby may be a 2litre.
Now this was scary. Mr.Shife probably doesn't remember how worried I was that our fake, bastard, love child was actually trying to abort itself.
I didn't need a real Dr to tell me that delivering scissors breach, even fake ones, would have me screaming for drugs.










Mr.Shife is non-responsive (He's so consistent. I fake love it. I always never know where he stands on anything) on his opinion on fake natural childbirth, but I'll tell you this; if this fake spawn ends up being a pineapple in real life, I'm totally taking the drugs. And after, I'll eat it if the munchies set in.

You can never have enough brushes kicking around. So a brush would be cool. Plus, you can just chuck it in a drawer when you need a break from fake loving it.

Considering this made up offspring is half Canadian AND I am the female equivalent to MacGyver I'm thinking a roll of duct tape is highly likely and completely practical.
I'm nervous at the possibility of delivering this wine glass. It's huge. And, well, it's GLASS.
The unreal thought of giving birth to a crack baby is just wrong. Even I can't believe I went there. I'm sure Mr.Shife has less than nothing to say about this possibility. Sometimes saying less is more, you know? I think the saying goes "Silence makes the heart grow fonder" or something like that.


Oh, and on a side note, I think I need to rethink my belt. It looks like its seen better days. And, I suppose it has, considering I got it in grade 10. They don't call me Dr.MakeDo for nothing!

Have a great weekend my lovelies!

the price is wrong

OK, at the request of Inner Voices, here is a new post to look at. See how much of a giver I am?
I don't normally cop out with the video post, but this is so funny, its worth the look.
Oh, and if you are at work or have to explain to some lookie loo why you are on a sexually explicit site, you may want to wait until you are alone. The video clip is safe ~ and funny, but the site itself, isn't maybe the best thing for your boss or say, your kids to see.
So click here... I call it "The Price is Wrong" (as if I filmed it myself and deserve full credit...or any credit...)

In other news, the bag below is definitely the coolest bag I have ever received a bundle of hand-me-down kids clothes in.





Rob has some days off and has the kids today..so YEA! A day to myself to do stuff around here that I don't want to do even a little bit. Sweet action.

wiener wiener wiener wiener wiener wiener

wiener.
wiener.
what a fun word to say.
wiener.




I just want one so bad.


We took the kids to the play Pinnocchio(sp?) last weekend at a highschool. It was the first play they've been to. Everett made it through half of it. During the intermission, I noticed this sign on the gym door. seriously? NO HATS? Why? What on earth for? I can understand food, drinks and ~for sure~ gum. But hats? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY? And when will I stop wondering?

I am full on annoying.

Rob and I went to see Iron Man last night.
It was awesome to get out together, just the two of us.
We had a great time.
We like to talk and laugh loud and really annoy people.
We're really good at it.
I like to wait until it's a really quite part to normally crack a can of something and shake my popcorn up.
I think people, as a species are predisposed to rubbernecking.
It's in our genes.
Yes, I see you.
No, I don't care.
I'm doing it on purpose.
Every time you turn around, I am slightly more pleased with myself.

It was a long movie, and I held my pee like a champ until I was convinced if I didn't go, I'd be peeing on my seat, or, at the very least, peeing a little with each step down the isle.

Obviously, I knew this was going to be a really long pee, so I did what anyone would do ~ get out my cell phone and record it so I can text message some really lucky people. My plan was almost executed flawlessly until I stood up and my cell phone fell in the toilet. Man was I happy that happened. I love stuff like that. It was so awesome sticking my hand past my wrist in my pee to get it out and manically wipe pee water all over my pants and even my shirt to dry it off enough to get the back off to pull the battery out. Sweet action.

Oh, and then Rob and I saw a man fall down the stairs outside.
And I do mean fall.
Totally bail.
I felt slighted that I couldn't get it on video or even a picture of it for you.

After swinging by Erin's for a bit, we went home and I stared at our 3 Scirocco's and felt so happy.

It was a great night.

I'll huff and I'll puff and kick your door in!

~I've kicked two doors open this month. How bad assed is that?

~I keep forgetting I have a meeting until my doorbell rings. Entirely too many people have seen me in my pajamas. I love pretending that I knew they were coming and that my plan was to just be in my pajamas.

~Gluten TIDBITS? Seriously? eweeee

~I watched American Gangster. It took me a couple days because I am the Queen of distractions. My favorite thing in the whole movie was seeing the VW Squareback that Russell Crow was driving. It was so cool to hear how it sounds too. Man I have to get back to my project car.





~Facebook has been a fun time killer. It's been neat checking out photos of people I'd lost contact with. I have also really enjoyed giving Carl the last word. Man he's needy.





~My new favorite expression

ramble much?

~~I am my own worst constant distraction.
~~um, anyone else wonder if the other yams are jealous?
~~Why is it exactly that Madonna only has 4 minutes to save the world?
~~I started working out again. Now if I can only lay off the bread for a while, I just might see some results... other than more energy to eat more bread.
~~The only thing you can control in life is your reaction.

~~I have a really bad habit of starting things and not finishing them. This includes a sketchbook full of unfinished drawings. Here is a great example of one of my many unfinished drawings. This is Kay, who I miss dearly, but seem to suck at my end of the friendship.
~~My friend Tanya left a message on my answering machine ages ago that I still think about. It went something like this... "Hi, I just thought you should know that I think Gilbert Grapes' mother is actually eating Gilbert Grape. click."
~~I am not down with Posh Spices popularity.
~~I really enjoyed Jon Bon Jovi in the movie 'The Brave One'. He looked a bit like Jodi Foster though. It was confusing.

RSD has met its match. And it's going to lose.

HERE I AM! Again, thanks you guys for caring enough to wonder how I've been.

ok, so what have I been up to?

Besides the obvious "KIDS" reality of busy, I've been giving most of my attention to my friend Erin. My friend Erin is a very sick lady who has had the worst hand dealt to her than anyone I have met to date. What's wrong with her? She has a condition called RSD. It is also referred to as CRPS (<-that was a link...click on it to open)

It's a debilitating condition to have.

Everyday, Erin blows my mind. She gets up. She gets dressed. She endures more pain than one person should ever experience in a lifetime... everyday... every minute of everyday. Pain is measured on a pain scale called the VAS scale which is out of 50. So, for example, someone who is dying of cancer, experiences pain somewhere around a 27-28/50. People with RSD experience pain levels of around 42-43/50! So, ya, try and wrap your brain around that for a second. It's just nuts. Her support system is very, very small. The lack of education in Dr's worldwide is ridiculous, and as you can imagine, getting support from your Dr is almost unheard of. RSD effects 1 in 60. That is nuts to me, considering everyone I've talked to about it has never heard of it either... including Dr's! What does this tell me? RSD needs awareness desperately.

There is a Dr, however, (Dr.Schwartzman) (<- click that link!! and then after you read that page, scroll to the bottom and click on the next link for the CNN report) who has created a treatment that is being practiced in Mexico and Germany. It is a coma treatment. A Ketamine Coma, to be exact. I don't know a lot about the drug itself (yet!), other than when someone with out of control RSD goes under a 5-7 day self induced coma, they are having amazing results. These people, desperate for some kind of quality of life, can get back to something like 60% less pain, which to someone living with so much pain, 60% less pain is a life saver. Literally. What is the main cause of death with people with RSD you ask? Suicide. So, um, ya.

Needless to say, I've been doing a lot of research and praying. Both of which seem to be working. The chain of events that have been unfolding in the last several weeks is mind boggling, at a very real level. When prayer is answered, it tends to make itself very clear. So the good news for Erin right now is we actually got her a date to see Dr. Robert Schwartzman on October 19/2009! Her appointment will be with him in Philadelphia. So... yea! ROAD TRIP! The cost of the coma is around $20,000 US... so needless to say, I will be getting a fundraiser of some sort together VERY very soon. It will cost less than $500 to actually go see this Dr. for the initial appointment, plus airfare, etc.

Erin has endured the gripping clutches of RSD for 9 years and is the strongest person I have ever met in my life. The way this woman copes with the amount of pain she is in would shut you up forever about your daily aches and pains or some old football knee injury. Like I said, she amazes me. Completely wows me. I wish I had one tenth of her strength. This is a woman who was a triathlete- a gardener/landscaper- a home care worker- a body builder- a writer- key word? WAS. Still though, years later, she has not even fully accepted being sick and refuses to give in to pain. She keeps going. She fights it with every ounce of her being.

It is interesting to sit back and realize why someone has been brought into your life. You may be thinking that Erin has been brought into my life so she could get a support system in place, learn about some new and promising treatments, hook her up with a few appointments, fill some small need that would help her days be a little less challenging, or even just to be the person who LISTENS to her. Who has UNDERSTANDING and wants to help...NEEDS to help, but I will disagree with you. Erin has been brought into my life because I desperately need her. From the moment she entered my life, she has been one of the reasons I've made it through MY days. She is MY rock and I love her completely and unconditionally. She is wise beyond her years. I don't want to take the focus off of her and put it onto me by listing off the hundreds of things she brings to my life. She is thoughtful and caring and loving and as I'm sure you could guess, as funny as me. The belly laughs that this woman evokes out of me is always just what I need at the right moment. Not to mention the joy she brings to my children's lives.

So, my friends, please... please don't disregard this post as something you feel bad about but can't do anything about. Because there is. I will be figuring out this whole fundraising thing. I've never had to even think about raising money before. I'm not really sure where to start. So, I guess I can call this post my start. If any of you out there have any fundraising experience, please contact me with suggestions or ideas or advice on anything you think might make this whole process smooth and effective.

Pain is her reality. It doesn't have to be this way.

I love this photo of her.

She is so beautiful.

Her smile lights up a room.

Her friendship lights up my life.

She smiles through her pain.

She keeps smiling inspite of it.

I am so honored to be her friend.

Erin, I love you Sweetgirl.

Thank you for chosing me as your friend.