Tuesday, February 26, 2008

roll the bones

Have you ever spent an entire evening in the emergency waiting room? It's enough to send you over the proverbial edge.
You may or may not know how sick my kids have been this last year. but it's beyond ridiculous. They have been passing a virus back and forth for entirely too long. It just seems that they are never completely well. Once in a while, this virus takes up residence in my body too, which is nice. I don't like feeling excluded.
Aaaanyway, between Dr. visits and walk in clinics, I sometimes swing by "emerg" (as we regulars call it), you know, just for kicks. Well, to say that this was just about my worst nightmare come true is an understatement. You know that instant when you are totally freaked? Like right to your core freaked? Well, as if someone had a camera and actually managed to capture the exact moment when my heart slipped up into my throat.

I don't know what this skeleton had in mind exactly, but once I got my wits about me, I round housed him in the teeth and split.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

I was at my friend Erin's the other day and we were completely glued to watching this show called Canada's Worst Driver (I think). Anyway, it was just insane at what was being pawned off to us as driving. It was hard to look away. I mean, who drags a 3 point turn out into a 22 point turn and hits 16 things doing it? As a really good driver, I feel completely justified exploiting this girl who actually lives in my town, Victoria BC. So, due to the fact that her over-applied make-upped ass was already exploiting its own self on TV, here is what Erin and I couldn't stop laughing about. And I mean seriously. Her driving was just crazy. But when she can't drive because she's applying make up and changing staletto heels, she stultified herself.

Erin and I both are convinced we have seen her before and plan on hunting her down for a hopeful impromptu interview on my blog.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Lazy bastard babies

I say KUDOS to the advertising genius behind this marketing idea. The younger we can start people off with low self-images, the better. Life sucks. People are mean. Lets face it, what better gift is there for your toddlers' third birthday than the gift of poor body image... in essence, the gift of truth. Nothing says unconditional love like all-out-nasty.

So come on kid. You're not getting any younger. Get up and do your cardio or you will be late for daycare.

Hey everybody, thanks for your concern.
We have been enjoying the company of the flu virus lately. It came by quite unexpectly and has made itself quite at home and I can't say I blame it. If I was a flu virus, I'd probably chose me too. I am just that awesome.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Are you a rockstar?

I swiped this off of my fake baby's daddy's blog.

Just follow these simple directions to come up with your own imaginary band's first album cover and title

1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:RandomThe random article title is the name of your band.

2. http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3The last four words of the very last quote is your album name.

3. http://flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/The third picture, no matter what it is, is your album cover.

So, my band name is GASTRITIS

The album name is "Is doing the thinking"

and this is the cover photo

Friday, February 08, 2008

I'm alive, just busy.

I'm having a hard time fitting in blogging lately. Please bare with me. Your patience is expected. I mean appreciated.
To answer your question BBC, No, that wasn't a paperclip for an ear piece. You can clearly see in the whole photo that it is just a regular paperclip I am using while out and about on an adventure with some friends I stole from my friend Mike. It was a challenge we had to see who could steal the most friends off of each others facebook accounts. I think there was about 7 photo albums in total of friends I stole from Mike and all the fun things we did behind his back. Needless to say, I won and he had to buy me wings. If you want to check out the photo albums, do a search for me Cher Sherwood on facebook. You will recognize my giant eye. I recommend you look at the albums in order if you do bother to check it out.

So, Inner Voices is threatening to post naked pictures of BBC if I don't post. And BBC, no offence, I'm sure you are just lovely naked, I just thought I'd be safe rather than sorry.

OK, so a Cher update. Some people are wondering what's going on with the house. No, I still don't have our house on the market. It's close though. But man being lazy sure gets in the way of doing stuff around here. We let the house go that we had an offer on, because when it came down to it, it just wasn't quite right. I am looking everyday, but we are leaning more towards something we can fix up and flip. My brother is willing to come, do the work, and split the profit. He is an amazingly talented and saught after builder, so we want to jump on this opportunity and use him for every last square inch of talent he has, to profit financially. I think it's really important to use family members as much as possible. It means you generally use your friends less. Besides, I choose my friends based on looks. So, as far as using them goes, they are really more of a pretty face deal.
In other news...

Monday, February 04, 2008

My brain is cloudy. I can't snap out of it.

You like the way I think hey?

I can't get her to work properly. Click here to see her in action

If your see this lady turning clockwise you are using your right brain.
If you see it the other way, you are using left brain.
Some people do see both ways, but most people see it only one way.
See if you can make her go one way and then the other by shifting the brain's current.
Experimentation has shown that the two different sides, or hemispheres, of the brain are responsible for different manners of thinking.
The following table illustrates the differences between leftbrain thinking and right brain

Left Brain:
Looks at parts

Right Brain:
Looks at wholes
Most individuals have a distinct preference for one of these styles of thinking. Some, however, are more whole-brained and equally adept at both modes. In general, schools tend to favor left-brain modes of thinking, while downplaying the right-brain ones. Left-brain scholastic subjects focus on logical thinking, analysis, and accuracy. Right-brained subjects, on the other hand, focus on aesthetics, feeling, and creativity. Some found that if they look at her middle peripherally, she will switch direction!

BBC sent me this post in an email, actually. What I found interesting, was when it mentioned that schools tend to focus on left-brain thinkers. This got me to thinking...maybe this is why I did so poorly in school. Then I remembered how little I actually went, especially in the later grades... you know, the grades that actually counted.

Friday, February 01, 2008

trying to redeem myself

It's been brought to my attention that my last post may have harmed my image.

And I quote...cecile-"Thanks for showing us your sensitive side, but unfortunately, you have now shattered the "Tough as nails" persona I had built of you. Now I'm going to have to envision a new Cher, one with a soft and gentle side."

And from my friend Jerome in an email subjected "That was very sensitive of you" he says, "...so much so, I have to ask you who wrote your Jan 31st blog? Did you plagarize that from a Counselling 101 paper???" My friend Jerome will be gracing the pages of my blog soon. Very soon. I have a little something down in my drafts, but it needs work. We went to highschool together. I will be posting some of the mayhem we created.

So here I am, madly typing away...something...anything to send the last post a little farther down the page so people will recognize me and know they are on the right blog.