Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Fake pregnancy update

I'd like to thank everyone for all your support during this faux pregnancy I find myself in. It has really meant the world to me. If you don't know what I am talking about, shame on you for not doing your homework. Yes, my past posts are worth reading people. Some of my funnier stuff is buried deep in my archives. So, if you are out of the loop, Click here to get caught up
So, an update. I am doing well. As expected. I am saturated in awesome right? so of course this fake pregnancy is just completely awesome too. I am in my 30th week now, according to Phats. My due date should be May 31st.

It's weird, this pregnancy. Not like my last two. I had heartburn horribly with both Crofton and Everett. I used to eat Tums in my sleep. But not this time. Nope. No heartburn here! It's almost like I'm just not pregnant at all. In fact, if it wasn't for Phats dropping the pregnancy bomb, I may have actually missed it all together.

You may be wondering how Mr.Shife is doing through all of this. Well, quite frankly, so am I. So I asked him. He honestly is just the perfect fake father for this fake virtual bastard love child that doesn't exist. When I asked him if he had anything to add to this post, he ever so sweetly said "I've got nothing. Sorry." Sorry? See? Isn't he just the best? Man I fake love him. Fer reals yo.

So, here is the latest belly shot I have for you. Nice of me, I know. You're welcome. But I have to be honest, I'm a little stressed thinking about the looming labor. I'm picturing the labor to be extremely slow, having a crappy heating system, very noisy and quite possibly, rust.

I have started to compile a list of people who would be willing to babysit on occasion. If you are interested, please let Mr.Shife or I know