Thursday, January 31, 2008

the heart can be a strange twisted muscle of hurt

I have some friends that are going through (or recently gone through)break ups.

It sucks when your heart is breaking and you feel helpless and would do anything to get back what you had. You feel like no one could possibly understand the depth of the love you have lost. Tears stream down your face. You barely feel them. Never mind able to control them. Even more, you don't really want them to stop. There is some kind of strange comfort in knowing at least you feel pain. Pain caused by someone you love; or by you to someone you love. Maybe because the pain is at least attatched to your love somehow... twisted, bitter-sweet pain. Knawing at your empty stomach...turning it inside out so much that the thought of food is ridiculous.

These are just a handful of the words that have been spoken( sometimes whispered through sobs) during lengthy conversations.
If you are like me, you feel for your friends. You want to take their pain away. You want to say that everything will be ok and mean it. But you can't. Not really.

By far not the funniest post I've ever written. In fact, there isn't anything funny about it. But it is probably the most heartfelt. And for the record, my dear friends, I love you very much. Thank you for sharing such personal memories and pain with me. I am honored to know you and call you my friends.