kelped to death

So, you all remember my favorite beach right? Granted, its colder out and I'm not spending as much time down there lately, but I still make my appearance at least twice a week. Well, Everett and I were just hanging out there, minding our own business when I suddenly felt something slithering up my leg. I looked down and saw the freakiest thing ever. I was being attacked by some crazy kelp with killin' on its mind. Don't believe me? Check it out. It was awful. I was terrified.
I barely escaped with my life.
Stop laughing.
I'm still shaking.
Looks like some other beach go-er wasn't so lucky.

Poor bastard.

Needless to say, I'll be packin' some heat with me next time I go.