And the winner is......

First and foremost...HAPPY BIRTHDAY Jblueafterglow and Kingcover!!!

OK, so the winner is ME! yea me!! my poem was definately the best and I think I deserve it. Check it out....

Write a poem about me, the best one will win.

But chosing a winner is awful as sin.

It's true that I'm great, it's true that I'm fun.

It's true that Honkeie2 wants my thumb up his bum.

It's true that my hair's grey underneath all the dye.

It's true that this fake bastard baby's a lie.

Angel didn't enter, and neither did Duck.

Stonelifter's was good, but Kay's said fuck.

Jblue's won my heart, and Phat's didn't try.

Travis's made me laugh and Matt Shanks made me cry.

Mr.Shife forgot-see? Isn't he sweet?

And TWO entries from Tiggy'smum! Are you kidding? What a treat!!

Paul F's was brilliant. It deserves an applaud.

Kingcover-yours was long and loaded with love, too bad it's for Rob.

Innervoices-how lucky is Kay to have in her life such a peach?

But no one, I mean NO ONE makes me laugh like T.Leach.

So Tena, yes Tena, wear your ribbon with pride.

You won my contest. You took it in stride.

(Oh, and if anyone has a problem with that, we can take it outside)

To say I had a hard time chosing a winner is an understatement. All of your poems were awesome!

But decide, I must... so here goes...gulp...

So,the official winner is Tena... and it's a great poem, if i do say so myself! Here it is, for you to read. So Tena...what did you want? To name my virtual, fake, bastard love child? Or a guest spot on your blog? Either way, you are one lucky lady and I'm still great...just not great enough to arrange a real weekend with Phats for you...

A Shaker and Mover who Lives in Vancouver (I actually live in Victoria Tena, but Vancouver's pretty close and it is where is grew up)

First off and foremost, Cher likes Tena most
So move over, Kay. Step out of the way.
You too, Mr. Shife. Cher’s hardly your wife
Angel and Duck: farewell and good luck.

“Write me a poem,” dared our lovable Cher.
Tell me I’m gorgeous. Show me you care.
It better be good or you’d better beware.”
The idea of rhyming gave poor Phats a scare.

Behold Tena’s couplets before your eyes!
Her poem's the best and will win first prize.
No feeble excuses or lame alibis
Cher sends regrets to you other guys.

Those who know Cher will all agree
She’s the most popular blogger ever to be
Her style is unique, her posts make us pee
And best of all, she gives laughs for free.

She’s wacky or tacky, depending on mood.
It’s clear to see that she’s hardly a prude.
A delicate flower, never raunchy or crude
The next thing you know she’ll be posing nude.

No mortal compares to voluptuous Cher
A goddess so lovely, the rest of us stare.
Possessing great beauty’s a burden to bear.
Tell us though, Cher: whazzup with the hair?

Paul F. Congradulations...step up and take a bow... your poem was SO great!!

Paul F. said...
There once was a blogger from Victoria,BC whose VW love borders euphoria, you see.

Her boy always sits on his favorite bathroom throne, while she takes pictures with her camera phone.

She has many people who come to visit her blog because this blogger is certainly no bump on a log.

Some blogs are quite boring or weird or cruel, but this one is vibrant, creative and cool.

So come one and all to this happy place, it's the Nutmeg Hotline and it's in your face!

jblueafterglow (I really had a hard time NOT picking yours. I think where you went wrong was writing a poem so good I read it too much and got sick of it)

A comment on my blog sucked me into Cher's world

My soul promptly changed, she was to blame

Now I know all about this Island girl

With cool-name Rob and Crofton and Whatshisname

Off the top of my head I can tell you she moved

From Chilliwack to Victoria, though why I don't know

I'm not ashamed to admit I got up and grooved

To the sound of her voice on My Point radio

There's a very large part of her heart

Reserved for her beach and of course for VWs

At the sound of the train she lifts her shirt up quicksmart

Please tell the Pipettes to bring me lots of booze

Cher better forever remain a blogger

Otherwise, keep living - why even bother?

stonelifter said...
Cher oh Cher

She who lusts after Kay's hair

She who is a teapot tempest

And loves to run a weird little contest

She who complains her but is saggin'

But cares not because she has a volkswagon

Cher who's little ones cause her strife

Cher who is the light of everyones life

Cher this is my ode too you

Now go wipe up your kids poo

Kay said...
Roses are Red,

Violets are Blue,

I loves me some Cher...

Something Something fuck you.

INNER VOICES said...
I dont know you so this ones on the cuff, im kays friend so that should say enough. your contest sounds fun, ill enter for kay, shes got the runs. you've got readers, cause you post so much, your comments are real, so you've got the touch. when shes done with her chemo, well be drinking beer, maybe at her house, maybe over here. whatever the facts are, i dont give a shit, when we all meet, it'll be a hit! so if i dont win, i'll search you out, and a big fight, hmmm it'll be a bout. cause when i say fuck kanser i never lose, its a saying even YOU can use. so i'll be checking back in, trust me on that, if kay gets too thin, lets make her fat. her entry was worthy ill repeat it next line, todays yer cut off, suits me just fine....roses are red, violets are blue, something, something...fuck you!!

Matthew Shanks(he doesn't blog anymore, but he was the blogger from Bucket of Excreta. which was an AWESOME blog)

here is a haiku. I didn't get much notice, so I decided to stroke your ego instead of come up with something witty.

mother of beauty

hot without smoke or heat

eyes that hypnotize

Travis Erwin said...
She likes, fruit flies, VW Bugs, and being on top.

She has a fake bastard baby in her womb, and a husband named Rob.

Nevermind that she refuses to cook clean, or even mop.

She is the perfect woman, better than a canadian bacon Shish-kabob.

So if you ever find yourself way up B.C way.

Look Cher up, couse I've heard she is one mighty fine ... blogger.

Wow...TWO entires from Tiggysmum-The first a Haiku and the second a Cinquain.

A Canadian
A very witty person
Pregnant with fake seed


Cher
Bright, funny
Blogging, writing, smiling
Someone who likes it on top!
Nutmeg

KINGCOVER's entry

CHER IS AWESOME

Cher is so brilliant

Yes yes it's very true

From morning to night

She tries with all her might.

She's a wonderment to me

And someone I blog about with glee

Ask her to take this thing off my shoulder called a flee

It is always done you see.

Our Cher is fantastic

An all around great gal

Never worries, never frets

She truly is my pal.

When you need her help with something

Sprinting to your aid she comes

It's a bonus when she finds the brakes

I do not want crushed bones.

If you are ever in any doubt

About the friendliness of my friend Cher

Ask the neighbourhood doggies

Oh and the local bear.

I wanted to make this poem really long

To brag and shout about the lady with flare

But instead I'll keep it oh so short

As I am in love with Rob ........ ermm I mean Cher!!!

Phats said...
Roses are Red

Violets are Blue

This Poem Sucks

And So do you! hahaha

Mr. Shife said...
Violets are blue,

Roses are pink,

An ecoli episode from being

my favorite Canadian. Wink. Wink.

T. Leach said...
Shall I compare thee to a Volkswagen bus?

Though art more lovely and less German (as far as I know).

Your trunk has some junk, some cushion for pushin'.

Your grill, your tires, gives my ball joints a smushin'.

That thing in your garage that looked like a phallus?

Who wins the contest, Cher? Please, do tell us.

Just the tip if I win, that's what you said.

Not in your bed though, in the back of the van instead.

Oh T.Leach.... you really really crack me up. thanks for humouring me!