Saturday, December 15, 2007

I am a walking disaster

Last week I looked like a battered wife. It was rediculous. I bruise easily, and I'm gracefully challenged. Bad combo. Lets get the obvious "she should leave him" photos out of the way first.

ouch 3 teeth through my lip in total.
So, not only did I have the lip thing going on, I had a mystery bruise on my neck that looked really bad. I completely forgot to take a photo. Sorry.
2 weeks ago, I had a cyst on my wrist removed. It was gross. Sexy hey? video
I stayed awake and watched the surgery and kept making the Dr. lift up my arm so I could see what he was doing. He thought it was weird that I wanted to watch. I asked if I could video it, but he said no. Rats. I would have. He said "Maybe you missed your calling." I said, "No, I'm pretty sure there's schooling involved to become a surgeon."
So the swelling was crazy and I honestly didn't expect it to hurt so much after.
I tried still wearing my wedding band, but when I woke up and my pinky was numb due to no blood flow, I took it off.
The bruising was intense. This is a pic of the bruise on the palm of my hand. I wasn't supposed to unwrap it, but of course I had to. All the yellow is bruising.
Over a week later.

I know how much you all love to be grossed out by me. So here is the video of my stitch getting taken out. It wasn't nearly as gross as I was hoping. video
Ok, so lets re-cap. Busted up lip. Massive black and yellow bruise on my neck. Wrist all bandaged up from what most definately appears to people to be a way to hide my defensive wounds. Could it get worse? Has someone checked me into a battered women's shelter yet? No? Well, what's this on my other arm? A blood clot? An exploded vein from my inevitable IV drug use that would surely make a woman escape from all the beatings? Well, your guess is as good as mine. I'm sure I just wacked it on the corner of something, but regardless, it completed the whole look nicely.
Of course, it too, turned into a very colorful bruise.
In other news, here's a video clip of Crofton grooving to Paul F's awesome Christmas playlist. He's lost 8 pounds! Way to go Paul! Keep it up dude! You can do it. If you feel so inclined, swing by his blog as say some positive words to him. He is a great guy. By the way, I have no idea why this whole paragraph is underlined, how to stop it or make it happen. videoHmmm, still underlined. Oh well. But this is a wrap. I hope everyone is having a great weekend!