WOW! CAT FIGHT!!! Sweet! How can I possibly perpetuate this more? Well, first of all, Tena, you were cracking me up with your name changes...and Kay, I am just trying not to picture your freaky chicken hat everytime I close my eyes. I don't know how you get a wink of sleep with that in your house. You guys all made me laugh. Thank you. Without going into too much detail, (I'm not normally one to wear my heart on my sleeve) but I am going through a lot right now and as much as I love to be missed, I also appreciate your patience with me as I try and find time to blog. It's nothing personal...it's not you, it's me....blah blah blah. Know that I'm thinking about you. Hold tight to that, my sweet little bloggers. Bask in the warmth of my love... Oh, and Mr.Shife. I was just going to say if you could please stop rubbing in the fact that you are my favorite to the other bloggers, that would be great. It's one thing to completely ignore me and your fake unborn pain in the ass, (which is just so super sweet of you..*sigh*) but it's another thing to parade your position all over my blog like a rockstar. It just hurts peoples feelings that's all. Oh, and Mr.Shife, I also love that you are spending this unreal fetus's birthright on midgit hookers. When I think about how much you care, my heart just bubbles with giddiness.

So... considering that I've got a lot on my plate right now that I am trying to deal with, lets move on to things that don't matter. Like this bike, for example. It's just a sweet ride, no matter how you look at it. (Oh, and that's our jigster in the back ground against the wall. Incase you care.)

I saw this bad boy when I was dropping off a movie recently.

In my opinion, there was no option but to repark my car, get out and take a photo.

Come on, admit it. It's freaking cool.
There was a lot of attention to detail. It even had these little tiny skulls instead of the standard door locks that you push down to lock or unlock your door.
So, I was going to try and get a belly shot for you all to show you how big I'm not really getting with this fake pregnancy, when I came across this cartoon drawing. It looks so much like me, I figured it was good enough. I'm so exhausted from not really being pregnant and i'm so tired from this fake baby not keeping me up all night, that I am going to sign off and have a nap.

The shows over folks.

Nothing more to see here.

Move along.

Keep to the right.

"The time is gone the song is over, thought I'd something more to say"

Tena's post.

My computer life is suffering right now. but i feel a post brewing. stay tuned!
tena..this was for you!

i'm alright folks. just busy... and just barely not sick... (as i just had a coughing fit...)

It's ok to miss me. I miss me too...just know I am thinking about you, and by you, I mean me.

Here's a semi-recent photo of the boys and I. They are growing up so fast, it's crazy. I toss back and forth daily between 'man they are growing up too fast and holy crap...do they still live here?'

Sorry for my absence lately. I know I haven't really even been around your blogs, and I'm sure I have a ton of catching up to do. If you care about me at all, you'll keep your posts short and loaded with pictures! We have all been really sick. Hopefully we are nearing the end of it all. The stress in my life is taking a toll on my immune system, I think.

So, what can I post about when I can't concentrate on anything or think straight anymore?

I guess I'll whip out these bad boys and share a couple cool things I saw not too long ago at the mall.

Here's a really cool idea for a belt that I saw.
Now of course you know I wanted this, but I don't think I could pull the look off very well. I'm not exactly a belt buckle kinda gal.
But man that little symbol just fills me with happiness.

So, Mr.Shife's fake bastard embrio is growing like stink in my fake womb. I will take a fake photo sometime this week and show you how I'm just popping out. It really is quite unreal.

my virtual, fake, bastard love child

Step back into time with me, for a moment. Let me set the stage. August 23rd. 2007. It was probably just a regular pleasant day in my household and I'm checking out your blogs. I go to my friend Phat's blog to see what's new and exciting. Crossing my fingers and wishing for something other than football, I was thrilled to see him talking about deep fried Pepsi! AND it had photos...AAAND a video clip! So I scroll down and it gets better because he even mentions me in the next bit, which I love, because I'm a blog whore.. Then tennis...then football, but at least another video clip...so... feeling quite pleased with his post in general, I start brewing up a fresh cup of instant comment. Then... WHOA! Screeeeeech. Back up. Did he just say what I thought he said? Oh yes he did. I couldn't believe it. Here, read it for yourself. I'll copy and paste it for you. .. And I quote... "Have a great weekend,Phats.By the way I got special permission from Cher to announce that she is pregnant with Mr Shife's baby, and they would like gifts from us all, and they are registered at Wal Mart. I guess the cougar pounced."

Ok, a couple of things. First of all, I'm glad Phats cleared up whose baby it was, because I honestly thought it was Design Goddess's. (Still to this day DG, I am so sorry for the hurt and unnecessary pain I have put you through. I really am.)

And second of all, I guess the cat is out of the bag now, and there's no point in denying this made up pregnancy anymore. According to Phats, I am 6 weeks along in this virtual pregnancy and let me tell you, it already feels like 25. In case you don't know, a pregnancy is about 40 weeks long...give or take. Don't worry, for those of you who went through my second pregnancy with me, you know I will keep you updated on how I'm doing and feeling and if you are lucky, maybe even the odd belly shot.

It is true that Mr.Shife and I are registered at WalMart and we do indeed want you to buy us things. So here are a few gift suggestions that obviously any newborn, online, fake, bastard, love child would need.

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Mr.Shife is just as ecstatic as I am about this faux pregnancy. He's so sweet. Why, just today he said this to me when I told him that his fake bastard baby just kicked... "Based on the advice of my attorney, I plead the fifth." See? Can't you just feel his love and undying commitment? His words wrap me in warmth in these trying times. He is my rock. He will make a great fake father.

tagged by travis.

I was tagged by Travis and the rules are I must offer up 5 pieces of bad advice... so here we go..
This photo was sent to me by Rob's best friend Lauri. She took it on a plane. It's funny, so I thought I could use it here...

So lets get rolling. Bad piece of advice #1 is...

Ignore this sign. throw caution to the wind and do indeed stand on the wing of the plane next time you are flying. It's safe. I swear. (Thank you Lauri for sending me the photo. I was going to post the one of you actually on the wing while flying, but your hair is all messy and it's just not the best photo of you, so I went with these two instead)
Now, piece of advice #2 is a bit of a dig to Emily and The Duck, since they have no Costco. (And yes, no Starbucks either...which i hit hard before Costco.... tall, quad, long, easy water Americano these days.)

My Mum says "You'll go broke saving money at Costco." She's right, but really, you can feed your kids for free on samples, so in a way, you save there too... Ok, on with the bad advice...

#2- Look at all this honey. Here is my advice, and I think it's just really good/bad advice, so listen up. Find a Costco employee and ask them if this is all the honey they have. You could mention you are a little disappointed with their selection and had hoped for more.Grab one of the squeeze bottles and say that you just love honey. That you can't get enough of it and wonder if there is a support number on the label anywhere for people like you who are addicted to the liquid gold, but that you don't have your glasses on and wonder if they could look on the label and tell you if there is anything like that on it. Then when they are about to look for you, aim the bottle directly at their eye and squeeze REALLY HARD. Be sure to put your hand up near their face as if you are trying to unsuccessfully stop it from getting all over them. Now, with your sticky, honey fingers, touch the employee as much as possible. Don't forget to be feeling bad, and try not to laugh. It was an accident remember? Grab their forearm while you shake their hand and stuff. It would be great if you could actually try and get your hand stuck in their hair...

Bad advice #3- Allow yourself to be pulled in two directions at all times. Stop focusing on anything and just bumble your way through your day. That's what I do, and it's great because no one expects much from me.

Bad advice #4- Next time you go to someones house, bring a plant as a thank you. Only, don't include a pot. Just hand it to them and start watering it and explain that this is a magic plant and will only grant your wishes if you hold it at all times. .
Bad advice #4- I love myself. I'm great. Really incredible. So, naturally, I can't help but try and look at myself at all times too. So, I wanted to show you how I can do this and still drive.Here's a good picture of proof that I do this. Look at me! I'm really so happy to see me it's stupid!