Oprah sinks to all time low in my book...

um Oprah? Are you serious?

FORESKIN?? What is WRONG with people??

Um, ya, did you get that memo?

You may have found it easier to get to my blog today. I did indeed take the invite only off in the hopes that certain douches have moved on and will no longer effect my PH levels. My next plan of action will be death threats. After that, I will take DG up on her offer of "taking care" of it for me.

So, now that things are feeling a little back to normal, lets get on with the madness shall we?

Here is something that people who work in an office where co-workers use their mug simply must get. It's a got to have item and a fail safe way to be sure you never get hepatitis.















It will, however, pretty much guarantee you to have unexplained penis breath from the inevitable rim jobs.
(I love how in the ad it says "This cup has a whole in it which prevents MOST people from using it.)

YAAAWN... stretch....scratch

I think you pretty much get the picture.
Why have I had such a hard time blogging?
I think it's because in real life I suck.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

If you happen to find yourself with no one to spend Valentine's Day with, I have the perfect suggestion for you.
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Oh, you'd like to hear it?

Well of course you do my lovely.
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Hey! I heard that. What? You think I stopped reading minds? (And that's ridiculous, by the way. I would never suggest something like that.)
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Ok. Here's a clue <= click there
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Awe come on. That was funny.
It's always funny.
Seriously love that.
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So, I was saying, if you find yourself with no one to spend Valentine's Day with, maybe you should give Rick Astley a call. I'm betting he's single. And probably on Lava Life.


No, being single isn't the only thing that makes him Valentine-able.
I can see you're not convinced.
Let me explain it to you through this esthetically pleasing pie chart.
I'm sure once you read it, you too will see the overwhelming evidence that he is in fact saturated in Valentine-able-awesomeness.
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Happy Valentine's Day!

THREE SEA SHELLS

SON OF A BIC!!*Not my hand...mine is manlier*



I had to take a second look when I first saw this sign. Why? you may ask?

Because it was sitting on this gigantic, yet well priced mudbutt wipe.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who was relieved that the human race is actually not THIS far gone.

Some stuff I've seen

Hello there my lovelies. I hope you are all well and ready to look at some stuff I've seen.
On with the show, before I walk away from this post and chalk it up to one more thing I never finish...
I'm not sure if it would work as well as the classic voodoo doll, but I bet it has it's own therapeutic properties.
I've seen some weird license plates in my life, but this was one of the weirdest!
NOBODY is as Antonio Banderas as Antonio Banderas... (said in the best Antonio Banderas voice imaginable... Believe it or not, I get to say that sentence at least 8 or 9 times a year)
An ad in the yellow pages that was clever
This guy renewed my love for hating complete strangers.
I guess cows are real spa whores. Something I never knew.
What was wrong with white??
hahaha
Don't get any ideas Quincy.
I think this is an excellent example of how awesome Canadians are. ROAR!! ;)
If I were a boy, I would shove that 5 million dollar ring down her throat...
They lost their day planner on the 24th AND the 25th?? I dare someone to prank call them...
So, there you have it... Some stuff I've seen. Was it worth spending 2 minutes here wasting your precious time reading? Probably not. But it was sure worth procrastinating housework for me to post it! :)

the ultimate morning CD

I hope you all had a wonderful holiday my Lovelies and thanks for stopping by!
I got a CD player/radio for the shower. Now all I need is some song suggestions that would make a great compilation disc to wake up to.
Let's hear your suggestions of what song you would pick to go on this ultimate morning CD