The boys are getting big hey?
This picture isn't entirely new either.
Everett started walking on the 18th!!! Sweet hey? I was beginning to think my hip would be out of place forever. Turns out, it'll just be my mind.

This is my porch swing. I swing on it a lot. The earwigs seemed to have given me some breathing room. But they are sneaky. I'm on to them.

So, there were some pretty good suggestions on what to blog about. Big Mama, suggested I send some love out to you all, my adoring fans. I say forget it. You're all too needy. Lets talk about me;)

Phats thinks I should blog about him. But I just don't have that kind of time on my hands. Besides, where would I even start?

T.Leach thinks sports. Ya, right.

Mr.Shife thinks I should talk about how fabulous Canadian bacon is. This was actually very tempting, seeing as I too have a soft spot for the smokey pig meat, but I haven't had much of an appetite lately.

Jamwall didn't have a suggestion so much as an entry to the complaint department. Suck it up Princess. It's just pneumonia! Man he's whiny. Blah blah blah...my poor lungs.... I have an idea, why not stop freebasing windex and chasing it with liquid plumber? Or even better, stop feeding your frog nude pictures of yourself. It's just plain weird.

Kingcover wants something other than one eye because of the cyclops factor.

I say I'm going to leave it at this and call it a post.

I feel so drained lately. And don't actually feel like I have much to give you.

the eyes have it

ok. what should i blog about?
i feel bad to you, my fans, that my harddrive has kicked the perverbial bucket. i can't access my imagination. and by imagination, i mean my photos. so, can you dig it(here's a shovel, can you dig it fool?")? help me help you.

what could you possibly need from me that i can deliver without maegapixals?

I AM LISTENING

Happy weekend everyone!

So I'm having a party.

You should stop by.

I promise I will leave my angle grinder in my garage.

You should know better than to come between me and my power tools anyway.

ok, can you say eeeeeeew?

I'm not a bug lover. They give me the willies. At night on my porch, I keep having run-ins with earwigs. It's disgusting. Especially when you crush them and they crunch. Our house is just over a year old and I don't know why they are on my porch (my friend Joey told me they like dark, moist places. Well, when I am on my porch I can only think of one moist, dark place and I guarentee there are no earwigs there). Not like hundreds of them or anything, but enough of them for me to be extremely preoccupied with the possibility of one trying to work it's creepy way into my ear canal. So I googled it. And now I'm a little less scared. But I'm sure I'll still be in the killing mood next time I see one.

Click here to get a little less scared yourself through the power of education.

CRONGRATULATIONS ARE IN ORDER....

OK People, let me get the apology out of the way first. I am sorry. I am sorry that you all have had to wait so long for your results. I'm sorry my computer is so friggin' lazy. As I have said before, my harddrive is damaged and we really just need a new computer. But considering how limited my knowledge is of computers, this seems like an insurmountable task. Not to mention completely overwhelming. I have spent a great deal of time trying desperately to upload the photos that were sent in, but to no avail. I swear I honestly heard my computer laughing at me.



But, as they say, the show must go on. So without further adu, the winners are....



Design Goddess- now lets hear it for my number 1 fan! She not only submitted 2 entries, she neither googled or photoshopped! I wish so badly you could see the photos. Her first entry was awesome! And I agree fully. Completely distracting. It's of a guy in the back of pick-up truck who is eating his McDonald's that he ordered, paid for and picked up from where he was sitting...in the back of the pick up!!!!! And the second entry is probably the real winner! It's of this old man with a pimped-out Excursion....can't really tell he's old, but trust me, he's O-L-D! And the paint job is a teenagers wet dream. It is totally awesome and extremely distracting. I'd even go as far as to say he's a danger on the road because of the depth of the distraction! So.... let's hear it for DG!!!! (standing "o") Now originally I was going to let people decide what prize they choose, but I think in my number one fan's case, she deserves BOTH! So, DG, email me your address so I can mail you out an autographed photo of moi, and give me your cell # so you can start receiving your random text messages from me!!!! Sweet action!



The next winner is................ None other than T.Leach himself! I was so excited to get an entry from him and felt so honored to have him participate in my silly little contest.
His photo was an instant classic. I loved, too, that he chose a bicycle as his vehicle distraction of choice. The photo is so freaking funny, that trust me, when I figure out how to ever get it off Rob's cell phone (my cell phone is so old, it can't accept photos)I will for sure be posting it! At the risk of being politically incorrect, lets just say there is a not-so-slim lady taking a brand new bicycle out for a test drive...with a pink helmet on!! The cherry on top being her support system, which consisted of someone she could easily swap clothes with. Ahhh, hahaha, you will just have to take T.Leach's and my word for it. It's so freakin' funny and so utterly distracting, that it's only by the grace of God, I think, that no one was harmed in the taking of the photo. So, T.Leach, CONGRATULATIONS!!!! Again, please email me your particulars and the prize of your dreams. Oh, I mean the prize of your choice.

Now, as i said, creativity, photoshopping, and stealing off the net was also permitted. And there were some really good entries. However, I just couldn't sleep right if I didn't award Mr.Shife a prize too. His entry, although not seen by him personally on the road, was awesome. It was of this fat guy (funny how I'm not as concerned about the political correctness here)in a PINK tracker who was maybe attempting to park, but looks more like he's trying to hold up a cement wall with his back bumper. It was a great entry and if you had been driving by and saw it, I guarentee it would have been a major driving distraction. So, congratulations to you too, Mr.Shife!!! You not only rocked this contest, you rock my world. Just simply email me your prize of choice and your info...and sit back and bask in all of your bragging rights!

Happy Fourth of July to all my American Friends! And again, congratulations! All 3 of you were winners in my black book even before this contest!

and the winners are... drumroll please....

OK people! we have some winners! i will post the winners in the next day or two because i'm kinda busy, but if you submitted an entry, please start thinking of your prize of choice.
1-an autographed photo of me
2-your number added to my cell phone where you will recieve random texts from me!

have a great day and don't forget how great i am!

2 things i don't understand, and 1 thing i do

OK. I'm scraping the bottom of some sort of container here for a new post. My harddrive is damaged and I am rediculously limited computer-wise.

ok. I can't believe someone gave this book away. I almost bought it, but then I remebered that I'm not completely insane yet and opted for a photo instead












now this I just found completely confusing. What if you want pees but no carrots? I guess you have to get your fish net out and get scooping.

I figured if Mr. Shife can bring up the past, so can I. There's nothing quite like some sweet Llama group action to kick the weekend off right!

Have a great one people!

Deadline for the contest to win an autographed photo of or random text messages from me is July 1st midnight. So remember, just make something up. Get creative. Submit something! Email me a photo of someone in a car that doesn't suit the vehicle. I am not above you lying to me and saying you took the photo yourself. I lie to you people all the time.

I spy with my chemically burned eye. (don't worry, this was like 3 weeks ago. it will be other things that eventually take my sight)

warning. read all the directions on the box as well as the bottle before you squirt anything directly into your eye. such as something crazy like contact lens cleaner.

ouch.

it burned so bad all i could think of to do was yell.

Don't forget to send in your contest entries!! time is running out! submit your entries, by midnight July 1st to chersrobs@hotmail.com for a chance to win an autographed picture of me, or, a chance to be added to my cell phone and receive random text messages from me! Trust me, your friends will be jealous!

Mr.Shife, the online man of my dreams, has requested a new post. Well, here you go Tiger... just for you. Fresh and hot to order...

What I want to know is when my cat, Gonzo started bowling.

i have a giant vagina

OK, so I don't want to mislead you.

I just thought it would be good to
bring this out into the open.

I have a giant vagina.


It's true.
It's huge.
I love my giant vagina and I'm pretty sure my giant vagina loves me...
I don't want to alarm you, but I decided to step up to the plate and share with you, my fans, a few photos of my giant vagina.

See? Did you doubt me?
Look at it.
It's massive.
I keep my giant vagina in my backyard.









OK, so check this out. I was sitting on my porch swing talking to a friend on the phone and I realise there is an enormous penis just hanging around (a little to the right) at the end of my road.
I had Rob go for a cruise down to the end of the road to grab the enormous penis and what do we notice? That's right... my dreams of turning this enormous penis into a water fountain is completely attainable. I don't even have to drill a hole. This enormous penis has a urethra!

How perfect. It was like this enormous penis was meant just for my giant vagina.



So I decided to play matchmaker because I'm just that way. I like to keep my giant vagina happy. I think it's really important. So here is a photo of me introducing the match made in heaven. Sorry I forgot to rotate it. Just tilt your head.

I really do love my giant vagina. Here I am just hanging around spreading my love and adoration.You know, making sure my giant vagina really feels it.

{If you use facebook, you can do a search for me, (cher sherwood) add me, and check out all kinds of fun I've been having on there. Just check out my photo albums 1-7 and don't forget to scroll down to read the explanation for the madness.}
........................................


OK, so, in other news, people are finding my car/driver distraction contest tricky. So I am officially modifying it. It's my contest and I can do what I want with it.

So, if you aren't quick on the draw like me(its a gift), and can't seem to get a photo of a person and a car that don't suit each other at all, then just do something creative with the topic. Feel free to photoshop, steal copyrighted photos off the net, go force someone to sit in someone else's car that they don't suit and take a photo... I dunno, I guess the whole thing is just funny to me. But I just don't find it tricky.

I saw this lady the other day. Beautiful truck. But just completely distracting that she's driving it. And in my opinion, if you put yourself out there in public like that, then I will look you straight in the eye, hold my head up high, take your picture (whether you like it or not)and then exploit you on my blog

Ok, so Rob is finally back. After what was supposed to be 17 days, stretched out to like 25. Needless to say, he's happy to be home... i don't remember where he said he saw this vw-car-spider-thing, but man i love it! This is one of the most creative things I've seen in ages. You, know, not including all the creative things I create daily.



















This is the picture on a friends calendar that Rob went to visit while he was away. It made me laugh, and like her just a little more! Man I can't count how many sleepless nights I have spent tucked way down deep into my covers convinced that if I even stick a foot out, clowns will get it for sure.













So, once again, just a gentle reminder to keep your cameras charged up and ready to go for my contest. An autographed picture of me? Come on people... And to be added to my cell phone to get random text messages from me whenever I feel like it.... ??? All I can say is Man, I hope I win!!!! (No idea what I'm talking about? click here for details.)

What's in the bag? Well I'm glad you asked. it's a ....
FLOWBEE!!!!
Picked this puppy up for $8.00.
Lets see if it works....
who should I try my new flobee on?



Well, Everett seemed pretty eager, so he went first. I won't post the pictures of him screaming his head off. I mean, he loved it.
It sucks as it cuts!!
or at least it sucks as you possibly rip the hair out by the roots. I don't know exactly because there's no way I'd ever try this on myself!

So, all in all, it did a really good job and there wasn't even 1 single hair that i needed to clean up. that was the best part. no, wait, i think listening to my kids scream in complete and utter terror was the best part.

I think the flowbee is the reason the expression "redneck" actually originated.

I will use it again. Definately.
Saw this truck on the road a couple days ago. You should be able to click on it to enlarge and read what this guy had on the back of his truck.

Ok, so this isn't a good example of a contest entry. But it was funny, and I thought I'd share. You may be wondering to yourself "what contest? Cher's having another contest?? how do I enter?". Well, just click on this Link: http://nutmeghotline.blogspot.com/2007/05/how-to-have-free-babysitter-and-new.html and go charge your batteries and dust off your lenses! Click click click...

How to have a free babysitter.... AND ... A NEW CONTEST!! Wow!

My friends came over last week and we just needed sometime alone. I thought this was brilliant! Thank you Joey for burying my kids up to thier armpits in sand. You can come over and occupy them anytime!!! It's good that you do. (PS, thankyou Joey and Allan for the hugs yesterday. I think you know how needed they were.)

Oh, wait, I'll be back in a second. I think they might still be out there!

Well, that was a relief. They were still there and fine. REALLY happy to see me though!

OK PEOPLE!!! LISTEN UP!!!
It's been so long since I've had a contest, that I feel the time has come once again. This contest is a little something Rob and I do to occupy our time when we are driving... we try and find one of those real head turners when we are driving. You know when you see a car, and then you see the driver and you are like, Ferreal? THAT person is driving THAT?? It just doesn't fit. It's distracting. So, what do i do in cases like this? you guessed it... take a picture!!

So, here are the rules. It cannot be a computer generated photo (Although i will possibly have to have a seperate creativity prize if someone was to actually bother). Now I know you are all very observant people. I know that you have digital cameras, (well except Phats, but he's too busy sending me bribes to buy my funnybone.) *phats you may have to beg borrow or steal... or just get someone to take a picture of you in your car*
OK, so a photo like this won't cut it. this is just a funny bumpersticker. it was especially funny when the woman that got out of the car was about 83 years old. however, no shot of her... no go. doesn't count. you could be making it up. keep in mind i'm veeeery skeptical and have a professional lab downstairs where i will be authenticating the authenticity of each and every entry.



Here again, same thing. I'm taking the time to really stress this. although this was extremely funny to me that an old man got into this car, (you may remeber the inside of his car in a post from a couple days ago. It had the chain and pad lock on the steering wheel...) but, again, i wasn't quick enough. you've got to be quick if you want to win people. I suggest keeping your camera/phone on at all times because you just never know. Maybe pack some spare batteries, just incase.
Here's a tip-be prepared in parking lots too...although, you may want to be prepared with back up if you aren't as sneaky as i am when i am out and about around town taking pictures of people and exploiting them.

Now this is what I'm talking about. This is the money shot right here. Just doesn't suit it. AT all. GOTTA love the 10 and 2 action. It's the kind of car/driver distraction that makes me wonder if that light was really green or not and looking in my rearview mirror I normally breathe a sigh of relief because the car behind me went through it too. who know's. maybe they were distracted as well...

ok, so. Game on. winner gets an autographed picture of me, and added to my cell phone so you can recieve weird random text messages at all hours of the night. T.Leach, I thought this little side bonus of the text messages would really tweek your interest. you can have no idea what i'm talking about on your phone too! sweet action right there dude.

So email your enteries in to me at chersrobs@hotmail.com
by july 1 2007 by midnight my time. (if you don't know what time that is, then you are in the same boat as me)
Game on!
All welcome!

any facebook people out there that haven't sought me out yet? search for cher sherwood. i am there. having a lot of fun i might add. i've been busy trying to keep up with all my fanmail on top of blogging, but i'm just that good.

CALLING ALL T.LEECH's

Where oh where did T.Leech go? where oh where could he be????
If he's still out there in blog land, please tell him to come visit me now and then. I'm thinking of a new contest. And I know that should excite you all, because I give out the best prizes.

Random photos and thoughts (CLICK ON PHOTOS TO ENLARGE)

this is the weirdest car interior i've ever seen.
an old man got into it. he was about 80. he has a chain with a pad lock on his steering wheel.


Barbie. What a whore. Why does she get a VW van and I don't. Damn her and her matching shoes


is it just me or does this one kid seem pretty happy to be being strangled?




My sweet little man giving me some love in the grocery store a couple days ago.



I'm bored today. I've had a few people go to my blog lately that are new friends. yes, that's right, I have some new friends (who, by the way I am enjoying getting to know very much) So, out of boredom, or probably more accurately, out of procrastination: I decided to go back into my archives to the very beginning of my blog...which is a little frustrating because you have to start at the bottom of the page and work up...so it can be somewhat confusing. even for me. and i typed it.

SO ANYWAY... I started going from the beginning to present and decided that i'm freaking funny. Like really funny. Tell your friends kinda funny. It took me a bit to get in the groove of the whole blog thing. I tended to post too much about my kids in the beginning. And the first while I tended to be a bit long winded. But some of it I had completely forgotten about. like this post about this website i found. i checked it out again today and was not at all surprised to see it is still up and running. looks like they have a good following too. you can buy stuff. check it out

Life IS good around a bonfire....even the next day the smell still lingers...

So right now it is 2:06 AM and I just spent all night outside in my back yard, around or near or stoking my firepit as I hung out and drank a few beers... I had a great night. ALONE. Thankyou phats and Stonelifter for keeping me company on msn ((and a big shout out to my peeps on face book ;) lately.)) Soooo why am I rambling like this you may ask? Oh ya, I know... because I was hanging out by myself. Which in itself, I have no problem with. I genuinely LOVE my own company.... well, I more specifically love my self almost exclusively. Life is good around me people. How about some of you come for a visit and keep an old and moldy, obssesive compulsive like me company once in awhile hey? Oh and wait till you see what I have in store for my backyard. I think it could be revolutionary.

But I must warn you, sitting on this kitchen chair and lifting heavy things is hard on my back. I wish blogger offered medical. Then maybe I could justify some massage therapy under bc medical or something.

Oh and before I forget, I got a new bed. Well, more than GOT a new bed really. More like imagined and made it happen kinda thing. What can I say? I'm a dooer. In fact, now I think I kind of have to redo my whole bedroom. I whittled it in my spare time. What do you think?

GRRRRRRRRRRRR

How irritating. Because I haven't blogged in ages, there are a few changes I'm not familiar with. So I tried to fix the fact that my photo is gone and my title. Well, I got back the title, but not the photo and I actually lost all kinds of things I had modified on it. Everybody's links...GONE! I'm frustrated. I am going away for the weekend to visit my family. Maybe when I get back I will have more patience for this.

VW'S RULE...

the coolest car decal i have seen in ages.

Hello from the land of snot

(Can anyone help me? What happened to the top part of my blog?)

some phtos to catch you up on how big the kids are doing.
Everett turned 1 on March 15th and Crofton is now 2. I can't believe how fast they are growing.
going to the park in the wagon!






A post wouldn't be a post from me unless I showed you some weird thing i saw somewhere. These crazy bingo dabbers were in a dollar store by my house. My friend Allan says it's not weird that they were in a dollar store at all. I dunno. I think its really weird to call bingo dabbers "oh shit". Maybe its just me.
two photos of crofton that I love.

So Rob left this morning for 17 days. He's travelling to Toronto. I guess that means I'll have some time to catch up on the world of blogging. I joined facebook (search for Cher Sherwood) a couple days ago. I'd love to catch up with you all through there too. It's a cool site. I am just figuring it all out though. I was chatting with a friend of mine I haven't seen in years this morning, Shelby. It was so awesome to get in touch with her.

Haven't done much of anything with my car lately. It's only getting warm enough lately to even be in the garage. I could use someone to come hang out with me in there and get me re-motivated again!

I love VW's..... it's not a crime.

Click on any image to see it bigger
OK, so kind of a lame post today. I need to get the photos off my camera, cuz I have a lot of pics to post about of the random craziness I see. So today, I'm just going through some older ones As I only have a few minutes.


OK, so some people had a hard time picturing exactly what I meant about this bizzar object i found on my car. In all seriouslness, really, does anyone know what this is?????



This is a purse I saw downtown Victoria. Yes, that's right. The cast of Friends. Looking a little on the cozy side if you ask me. Who loved the show SOOOOO much that you would dish out over a hundred bucks for this thing????



I'm not sure if you knew this or not, but when Mel (LBSeahag) came to visit me, we were blessed with a special guest appearance from none other than the Devil himself. Sweet hey? I'm just saying we have some serious bragging rights ok?


A sweet ass van I saw in Kelowna. In my spare time I drive around and take pictures of other peoples pride and joy...not just mine. If you or someone you know has a VW you'd like to show me, I'd love to see it! You can email pics to me at chersrobs@hotmail.com Oh, ya, and if you click on this and make it bigger, you will see our not-so sweet ass camper van in the background.